Working in an office has caused me to realize just how prominent my ADHD can be. I struggled through my childhood and learned some pretty good ways to counteract my weaknesses. My mother always says that I “learned how to learn.” I like that little expression!
It quickly becomes obvious just how difficult it is for me when I’m sitting in an office for 8+ hours a day however. I have some quirks that my coworkers have observed that tell the story of my inattentiveness.
The other day a coworker of mine noted that while I was on the phone, she could hear the other person clearly from across the room. She asked if the person was speaking loudly. I thought about it for a moment and then I realized what it was:
"I turn the phone all the way up to drown out all the other noise in the office. I also put a finger in the other ear, and sometimes I close my eyes while speaking on the phone," I explained
On the flip side of this my coworkers often think I have a super keen sense of hearing. Last week we were sitting in a meeting and twice I interrupted to say “someone just came in through the door.” My boss exclaimed, “Wow Ryan, I can’t believe you heard that. You have some impressive hearing." I replied “no, I’m just easily distracted,” and everyone laughed with the affirmation of “yes, yes you are!”
This is when I realized that the inability to stay focused on a task is an evolutionary gift. My father and I both have the attention span of a squirrel (my mother too, so I got it from both sides).
Forgive the boasting, but my father and I are very good hunters. Much the same way that a deer can pick out movement, my father and I have the ability to spot the slightest movement or notice when the character of the woods have changed. We notice when the woods fall silent, or when the squirrels begin stealthily making their way up trees, telling us that something has or is moving into our area.
If I were born just a few thousand years ago, my distractedness would save the life of my herd. While all of you normal attentive folks would be munching away on twigs and berries, I would see the lion crouching in the grass looking to devour those of you immersed in your task. I would spot the deer that was trying to go unnoticed, and you would all have something to eat on account of my inability to not be interrupted (see how I say things like Yoda, I think that’s another symptom of Adult ADHD – backwards talk).
Does this level of alertness cause me a great deal of anxiety? Yes, constantly. Do I feel like a failure when I am unable to muster up the energy to stay on task? Sometimes; but I also know that the rapid way in which my brain operates allows me to process a great deal of information.
If you cannot tell, I am trying to convince myself that I am not a victim of a “disorder”. While I may have to labor more intensely than others to accomplish the same task, I believe that people like me have an important part to play in the world. We all have been created for a purpose, but the difficult thing is finding the ability to come to terms with the things that make us feel inadequate.
The irony of this post is that I wrote it because I’m distracted at work. Better get back to it!
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