He said to me: "I HATE CHRISTIANS"

"I hate Christians!"

That's how this conversation began while in a church celebrating a Christian institution. I knew where he was coming from, and I won't divulge any details as to why he felt this way, but if you knew the story and had half a heart you could see why he'd come to that conclusion.

The truth is I've spent the better part of my life hating Christians. It took getting to know Christ and, as a side effect, becoming one before I changed my tune. For those who are deeply wounded there are a few avenues’ we can go down in order to remedy the discrepancy between Christ and his followers.

We could say that the people that hurt us are not Christians. It certainly remedies the problem but it creates another. It places us on the seat of judge and jury in determining the condition of someone's heart other than our own.

I recently listened to a StoryCorpe presentation that was about a brother and sister whose relationship was estranged. The two had grown up in New York as secular Jews. The sister was a lesbian, the brother became a born again Christian. The sister did everything to engage her brother, even though he had done some hurtful things in the rejection of her lifestyle.

For example, while he was in a jam he moved in with his sister. After moving in, he demanded that her partner move out because it made him uncomfortable. Being the sister that she was, she met the demands that her brother was in no position to make.

The dialogue between the two was revealing. It was the first time I took a step back from my Christian persona and said to myself:

"You know, when it comes to how I interact with my family these days I can be a real dick."

 The sister said that it was like she lost her brother. She said she could still see her brother as you can still see light from a lamp behind a shade. She could see her brother’s silhouette through the shade, but the blind that was pulled down between them was Christianity.

My dear wounded friends; people are treating you poorly because they have a belief system that they feel justifies their poor behavior. Even though in their hearts they feel bad, it only serves to validate the fact that

"Being a Christian will be hard and the world does not know God and therefore does not know us and how we operate." 

They are a lamp, and the shade between them and the rest of the world is Christianity.We all have done this. We add Jesus to us, and the outcome can be a frightening one. The equation of our life is:

Me + Jesus=douche-bag

Isn't this what we're asking our children when we say:

"Do you have Jesus in your heart?"

It seems to me that the dominant metaphor in Pauline literature is that we are in Christ, not that he comes to live in me but we live in him. The equation should read:

Jes(us)us = the Church 

After this conversation, I could tell my friend felt a little better. I told him he should probably read my blog, and he said:

"Na, it'll probably make me bitter."

I laughed, and I could see why some would think that. If what I'm saying resonates with you, let me challenge you not to let the bitterness fester. I know it's not fair that you have to work at forgiveness even though you weren't the one with the problem.  But if you cannot be consoled by the love of Christ, it will soon be you who treat others the way you have been treated (sort of the antithetical golden rule).

If I have embittered anyone through this blog, I want to apologize. The church can be a hurtful place, and we are well known for devouring ourselves. The cycle ends when we rest assured in the love that is ours through Christ.

 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

  Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.