A personal inventory on my lunch break: Derailing a Nervous Breakdown

My jaw hurts from being clenched, my teeth hurt from being grinded against one another. I have lost my wedding band, forgotten my wallet, forgotten my phone, and have lost a book for my class. My dreams are ghoulish nightmares, yet I feel fine.

I must take these  externally dark and absent minded behaviors  as indicators that something is bothering me. I must do this because I am a McGinnis. We do not volitionally repress our intense emotions, but perhaps it is just the Celtic blood that flows through our veins.

I remember almost six years ago when tragedy struck our family, I was living with my father at the time. Both of us went back to work the very next day. We didn’t speak about it in depth for another two years.

So that I do not implode, I will be honest about what deeply grieves me:

Two years ago yesterday, I lost one of the most important women in my life: My Grandmother

A month from now, a year will have passed that I have lost one my best friends to cancer

Not too long ago, a very important man in my life passed away before I had a chance to reconcile our relationship

Another friend of mine has just begun his battle with cancer. Today he entered surgery.

I will not/cannot run from these things. My heart is heavy and I am weak:

Today… “I will lift my eyes to the healer of the hurt I hold inside.”